Jesus and the Easter Bunny go to therapy

After nearly 250 years of tolerating each other, the two frenemies decide it’s time to bury the hatchet.

For nearly 1,700 years, Jesus was the seminal figure during Easter Week — after all, the entire genesis of the holiday was focused on his death and subsequent resurrection. But then, almost out of nowhere, in the 1800s those pesky German Lutherans introduced their “Osterhase” (Easter hare) tradition to America. Specifically, Pennsylvania. In typical American fashion the custom was soon commercialized, becoming a key component of Easter celebrations everywhere.

Soon, the Easter Bunny — with his mysterious ways and customized chocolate covered eggs, was a global phenomenon. Jesus was basically forced to compete with this oft anthropomorphized creature for young hearts and minds. And let’s face it, if you’re a kid, are you going to choose a fluffy, funny, creature who gives you candy; or a middle-aged man, wearing a loin cloth, hanging on a cross?

This year, after nearly 250 years of patience, forgiveness, and relative silence, Jesus decided it would be in everyone’s best interest if he and the Easter Bunny could bury the hatchet; and perhaps come to an agreement about whose role belongs to whom during the significant holiday. Thus, Jesus and the Easter…